A bad day

I understand that everyone of us have different personalities due to different upbringing, environment, etc. But shouldn't everyone who finished primary school at least understand the meaning of manners? I feel very uncomfortable whenever u think u own whatever I own. My willingness to share certain things with you does not give u the authority to make any decisions for me or to do whatever u want with my things (unless told). I would really appreciate some courtesy to ask me.. n NOT tell me what you have already decided to do with it.

Hrm... Today's not a very good day. I feel that some things in my life aren't as perfect as I thought it was. Obviously I failed to get the message across. Suddenly I find myself floating through the clouds of doubt. What is real, and what is not? What has the world done to change such a beautiful soul? perhaps, what have I done to it?

The Transsexual

Ohh I love Amy! She's so humorous! Notice both Shan & Rozz's reactions.. haha

"Nolah what do you think.. Go market chop fish head"

Haha.. Hilarious!

Born to be friends

Dear PAS(S),

Mei I regret I didn't spend more time with you. To be honest, I had the same questions at the back of my head. "Will anyone of us have anything to say? Will it be awkward? How will it be? What if she keeps quiet and say nothing at all? I wanna hug her, but will she think that we're not close enough to have body contact?"

Perhaps both of us were too afraid to see that any one of us have changed? or maybe it was only me? To be honest I miss those PASS times too. Just like you and dra, I wish I spent more time with you girls. My biggest regret. I know I was the one who put least effort into our friendships but yet both of you still have me in your hearts. It means so much to me, so much that I don't think any of you will understand. Thank you very much for not judging me like the world. I know mei that we may not have been the closest in PASS, in a sense that I don't rili speak my heart out, my problems, but I do know that we have a strong bond. I know that ur the one who will not cease to believe me even if the world turns against me. Somehow I'm very protective of you.

I'm sorry dra for being the picker, for complaining and for being so ignorant during our last years. I was so wrapped up with my uncountable problems during that time that all I saw was negativity. I'm very sorry for being such a lil girl back then who mistreated you at times. I still clearly remember our stayovers, and us getting ready before our part time work at Tg. Aru beach hotel. I miss those times too. I'm glad that til' now we still talk and share our thoughts. I really appreciate the fact that both of you have made so much effort to meet me. Dra in London and Mei in KK. Very very grateful my dears. As for our missing S, all i can say is that i wish she's living a good life wherever she may be. If I could turn back time, I would change many things. But here we are, as old as ever! All there is to do, is appreciate and cherish the times we have left in dis world... lol...haha....lots of love.

P/S: The keychain engraved with "Born to be friends" (and our young faces on it.. haha)meant and still means the world to me.Love you both.

Grumbles grumbles

Its getting warmer these days and I wouldn't survive with my windows shut. The stupid birds! *flaps flaps n a big loud thud* I see one standing on my window pane trying to go through the wide-enough-for-it to enter window gap. My heart races everytime i try to close the windows before they squeeze theirselves through. You silly pigeons & magpies! STAY AWAY FROM MY WINDOW!!

Ewww

I read about piles (haemorrhoids) last night. I've heard a lot bout it from my mum since she regularly meet clients with health problems. If you don't know what it is, it is like an excess fleshy lump that you can feel inside or on the outside of your anus (see the picture above). You know you have it when you...

1. feel it at your backside (when showering or for whatever reason you're touching it)
   
2. bleed when passing motion (bright red but not like period blood okay)
3. find it itchy underneath
4. see soiling on your underwear

.

Out of curiosity I googled it. Boy it's disgusting and ugly.
(The one on the right looks more like a mole to me.. haha)

Ways to treat:

1. Surgery (I heard they stick something into your anus...ewww)
   
2. Prescribed cream (may not work for everyone)
   
3. Maintain high-fibre meals

I realized that I hardly take fibre (apart from the organic drink that i take seasonally..haha!). To be honest, there was a period of time where I bled almost everytime I passed motion. I recall mum saying that her client's piles (which were as big as grapes) dropped of after she went on organic fasting for a few weeks. And so that is what I'm going to do. Whether or not I have it I'll still fast coz I wouldn't wanna have the ugly stuff anywhere near my anus. And so i went to Tesco's just now and bought these...

.
Pak Choi, Bran cereals, Baked beans, Pears, Apples, Heart sth lettuce / cabbage (i dont remember), broccoli, and bananas...

muh plan:

1. Drink organic as frequently as possible (every 2-3 hours)
2. Eat fruits / cereal / boiled vegies when i feel hungry
3. Drink lots of water

Perhaps I should ask mum to send me a few more bottles. The big question is...
Can I resist the temptation of the tidbits?? Hrm...We'll see... ^.^

Nothing beats H.O.M.E

My trip back to KK was a very short one. Two days before I departed, I met Baby Amanda Jane, Jacinta, Mei (Sharon) and Andy at Pizza Hut. It was a long time since i saw Mei & Andy.

.
"The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever.." -Yuslina

Friends come and friends go, but some remain in our lives forever. Though we live different lives now, and may not have much to say, sometimes you just know deep down that they are the ones that you can trust and rely on for life....

(Tsk tskk... don't they both look adorable together? =D )

No matter how happy we are to have known Baby Amanda, nothing can be compared to the glint of happiness in Jacinta's eyes..... Different from before, she now exudes an aura of strength and happiness. Its as if she found a new meaning to life.....

(Stolen from Sharon)

Let's move on to my family and his. Grandma was in KK for a couple of days. She looks healthy. Everybody else is pretty much the same. Oh my bro's muscles are starting to form (after all the hard work at gym!).

And Uncle's surprise birthday dinner at Grazie!!

Did not really get to spend time with uncle and aunty this trip because they had work to attend to at Tawau. Nevertheless, I'm very happy that our families are getting along nicely! ^.^ God's blessing.

Let it free

When we're in love, we may unconsciously become someone else. Someone we don't wanna be. Why should there be jealousy when our other half hangs out with someone of the opposite sex who have been their bffs way before we stepped into their lives? Why do we get upset when he goes out at night while we stay at home? Since when does a phone conversation with the opposite sex become a crime? Since when did love become something so jealous, so impatient, so controlling, so....... scary? Sometimes we cannot help feeling how we feel... for...

"The heart has reasons that reason cannot know"
- Pascal

I'm pretty sure that most of us if not all during the crush or falling in love period used to be very cool and understanding. Both guys and girl alright. We girls can wear super low cut tops or micro minis, he will give u thumbs up for being sexy. He can hang out with his bff (be it a male or female) anytime, anywhere, even clubs. So why take his/her freedom away when the relationship has begun? Shouldn't we trust that whatever he/she decides to do, they will not do anything to hurt us? (If they do sth rili wrong than perhaps they dont deserve you).

The more you can't get hold of something, the more you desire. It's just like ur mum asking the lil you not to eat sweets but then u still do when she's not around. If he / she really loves you, they will one day willingly stop. You wouldn't wanna know that ur gf has been out clubbing last night when you THOUGHT you put her to bed at 8 right?

I guess that's pretty much why I've heard many of my girlfriends say "the best part of a relationship is during courtship, before the start of arelationship." Where have the rosy moments gone? Why allow our own insecurities limit our happiness right? Maybe its time to let your other half decide what he/she want..and what not...

Trust, hope, persevere

p/s: The examples given above are not all about my relationship, but of those around me.